DARCY
Well, Bingley, have you had enough of Hertfordshire yet?
BINGLEY
Enough? Are you anxious to leave already?
DARCY
If you're going to be dragging me to Longbourn every other day, then --
BINGLEY
You didn't enjoy our visit? I had a very nice time.
DARCY
Well, you had Miss Bennet to slobber over. I was glared at for
an hour by Bennet Number Two and her mother.
BINGLEY
That didn't look like glaring to me. I think they were just
admiring your waistcoat.
DARCY
I think Mrs. Bennet spilled tea on my lap on purpose.
BINGLEY
Why would Number Two be glaring at you? ...Oh, yes, of course.
Your rude behaviour in that dress shop. What exactly did you say?
DARCY
Rude? What do I know about hair ribbons and such nonsense?
BINGLEY
When are you going to learn how to compliment a woman, Darcy?
DARCY
When I find one that makes sense.
BINGLEY
Well, there are three other Bennet girls, you know. If Number Two
doesn't suit you...
DARCY
Oh, please.
BINGLEY
What did you talk about with Mr. Bennet in his library for so long?
DARCY
I can't remember. I wasn't really listening. Of course he kept
calling Miss Elizabeth in every ten seconds to ask her some silly
question.
BINGLEY
Come now, Darcy. He only came into the parlour to get her
once.
DARCY
He's just as bad as his wife. Parading his daughter in front of me.
BINGLEY
Yes. Miss Jane told me that her father consults with Elizabeth
quite often. She's quite an astute young lady. Too astute
for my taste, that's for sure.
DARCY
You know, men are a lot sneakier than women when it comes to displaying
their offspring.
BINGLEY
Wouldn't it be funny, Darcy, if you ended up marrying Miss Jane and
I married Miss Elizabeth? Just like one of those farthing novels. A
complete turnaround.
Wouldn't that be funny?
DARCY
I think it would be funny if I ever come back to this county.
I have to leave for London in a couple of days, you know.
BINGLEY
Already? You promised me you'd spend the entire autumn here.
DARCY
I think you just want someone here to keep your sister occupied.
You should find a pastime for her, like skunk-taming.
BINGLEY
Remember, Darcy, I'll have all the Meryton maidens to myself.
DARCY
Well, I really do have to get back to London for a while. And then up
to Pemberley to check on Georgiana. But I'll be back in November, I
promise.
BINGLEY
You'll miss all the fun.
DARCY
Try not to get married while I'm gone.