MRS. BENNET
Lady Catherine, are you all right?
LADY CATHERINE
What? What? Where am I? Who are you?
MRS. BENNET
I'm Harriet Bennet, Elizabeth's mother. Soon to be related to you.
LADY CATHERINE
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Where am I? Why am I here? Why are you here?
MRS. BENNET
You're at Netherfield. You fainted. My other daughter will be mistress
here soon. Mr. Darcy has gone to fetch the doctor. Lizzy is preparing
a cold compress. Everyone else is in the parlour trying to decide what
to do about you.
LADY CATHERINE
Do about me? But that girl. Your daughter, my nephew.
Georgiana has gone mad. My own daughter is... Oh, dear.
MRS. BENNET
Just lie still. Let the doctor look at you when he gets here.
LADY CATHERINE
Is there any way to make people see reason around here?
MRS. BENNET
Reason? Is it reasonable to barge in to someone's house and start
barking out orders?
LADY CATHERINE
I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and your daughter is a... is a...
MRS. BENNET
You are a ridiculous old woman, if you ask me.
LADY CATHERINE
No one asked for your opinion, Mrs. Bennet. Who's ridiculous
around here? Who is it that has five unmarried daughters?
MRS. BENNET
Four.
LADY CATHERINE
Four. Oh yes, that is a marriage to be proud of.
MRS. BENNET
I should say so. Mr. Wickham is a fine young --
LADY CATHERINE
A family of lowlifes..
MRS. BENNET
Elizabeth is the daughter of a gentleman. Not as highborn as yourself,
I grant, but I'm sure she's good enough for that stuffy nephew of yours.
LADY CATHERINE
Stuffy? He is a Darcy, madam, of Pemberley, and I will thank you to
treat us with the respect that is our due.
MRS. BENNET
Of course he's much nicer to me now.
LADY CATHERINE
Five daughters and no sons. What
were you thinking?
MRS. BENNET
Well, at least I tried to have a son. You stopped trying after one
daughter. And now you're trying to palm her off on your nephew.
LADY CATHERINE
Anyone would be proud to be married to my daughter, Mrs. Bennet.
MRS. BENNET
Yes, with that grand estate of yours as her dowry.
LADY CATHERINE
Yes, indeed. Rosings is one of the --
MRS. BENNET
Well, here's Jane. She can take over these duties. Jane, dear, make
sure Lady Catherine doesn't fall off the sofa. If she tries to get up
then just sit on her until the doctor arrives..