LIZZY
Mr. Darcy, I have a small bone to pick with you.
DARCY
Oh dear me. Come sit on my lap, Lizzy, and tell me all about it.
LIZZY
All right then. Now please explain something to me. Why is it that
as soon as we're alone anywhere, you begin to kiss my neck.
DARCY
Well, Lizzy, your skin is so soft, and --
LIZZY
The very day after I accepted your hand, you kissed my neck all the
way down to this spot here.
DARCY
You mean to that freckle right there?
LIZZY
I'm glad my father didn't see.
DARCY
I didn't think I had gotten that far until a week later.
LIZZY
And no more than two days after that, you kissed me down to this
freckle.
DARCY
Well, Lizzy, I do find you irresistible.
LIZZY
My sister tells me that Mr. Bingley has never been so brazen.
DARCY
Well, your sister has no freckles on her neck.
LIZZY
And may I ask how you know so much about my sister's neck?
DARCY
Um, Bingley told me.
LIZZY
Your kisses have been roaming lower and lower on almost a daily
basis. What would my mother say?
DARCY
Well, we'll ask her about it some other time perhaps.
LIZZY
You're almost down to that freckle right there. I really don't
think you should kiss me there until our wedding night.
DARCY
Which freckle is that, my dear?
LIZZY
This one right here.
...No, no! Don't look at it.
We're not married yet.
DARCY
But Lizzy --
LIZZY
And there's another freckle that I can't possibly show you until
we're married.
DARCY
Where?
LIZZY
Never you mind.
DARCY
Just describe its approximate location in general terms.
LIZZY
Well, it's about two inches lower than this freckle.
DARCY
Two inches? And I've never seen it?
LIZZY
Certainly not. I don't even have a dress that allows it to be seen.
DARCY
Now why would God give you a freckle in such a lovely place?
LIZZY
It's near this button.
DARCY
How many buttons would need to be undone on this dress in order for me
to kiss that freckle?
LIZZY
Mr. Darcy!
DARCY
I need to be prepared for our wedding night, my dear.
LIZZY
Well, I'm not quite sure.
I could let you know tomorrow, after I take this dress off tonight.
DARCY
But tomorrow's dress might have a completely different configuration of
buttons. The information would be totally useless to me.
LIZZY
It's none of your business anyway.
Until we're married.
DARCY
These buttons are very pretty, Lizzy.
LIZZY
Never you mind my buttons, Mr. Darcy.
Someone might come into the room unexpectedly.
DARCY
Oh dear. Look what I did. How clumsy of me.
LIZZY
Mr. Darcy!