Part 1: Lady Catherine's Pen Pal
Lady Catherine is waylaid while on a strange journey.
from Lady Catherine
de Bourgh
Rosings Park, Kent
May 13, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
I must prevail upon you to cease and desist at once.
I am speaking of your relentless series of weekly letters that have
consumed an inordinate amount of my time since the very day you were
most advantageously united with my nephew.
You probably think that I am capable of being worn down by your
incessant pleadings, but I come from a long female line that is made
of strong stuff, Mrs. Darcy, very strong stuff indeed. I am not
easily swayed by the interminable stories of your new life and your
new plans for Pemberley.
You can readily comprehend from my remarks above that I have read
each and every one of your letters. Do not imagine that your
letters are worthy of my time, however. It just so
happens that I pride myself on my conscientiousness in all
things, Mrs. Darcy, all things,
especially in the earnest attention that I devote to my
correspondence, no matter how I feel about its source or what
my expectations are of its content.
Please consider how easily I could have left your missives unopened
or had them returned, or even burnt without their ever having
been read. I think that my generosity warrants a certain
amount of approbation, and if you have the least shred of
consideration for your new relations at Rosings then you will reduce
the frequency of your writing at once.
I accused you last summer of being an overly resourceful young woman
in your efforts to attach yourself to my nephew. You have now
proven me correct in my assessment of your guile by the continuous
correspondence that you have somehow been able to carry on with my
daughter Anne for the past several months. How you've managed
to smuggle letters to her is beyond my comprehension. None of
my investigations have uncovered the covert channel that you've
managed to find into Rosings.
If you'll pardon a brief moment of uncharacteristic boastfulness on
my part, I must tell you that I am also capable
of maintaining clandestine communication into places of
interest. I have known your own housekeeper,
Mrs. Reynolds, for many years, and she has kept
me abreast of all the recent goings-on at Pemberley,
including your many renovations and your visits to the Lambton
neighbourhood and the frequent picnics and walks that you've taken
with your husband and my niece Georgiana, who apparently is
quite enamoured of you after knowing you for such a short
time.
Your housekeeper also informs me that you threaten to re-introduce
several customs that had been started many years ago by my sister
when she herself was the beloved mistress of Pemberley.
(I hope you remember that you have very large shoes to fill, Mrs.
Darcy.)
I would like to make you aware that I myself was an integral
participant in many of those activities, and I frequently
took a very active role in their planning and execution. I
therefore insist upon being allowed to help out in any such
endeavour that you plan in the future, for otherwise you
would fail to properly duplicate my sister's achievements.
I have also heard, from entirely different quarters, of your
auspicious appearances in town at my nephew's side. Somehow
you have managed to make an unexpected impression upon many of my
close friends, even after I had warned them of your
background and family.
And now to the point of this letter. The reason that I am
breaking my silence and sending you this short note is because of
the authorization that you've requested on the naming of your
first child. By the way, please make sure
to extend my warmest congratulations to my nephew.
Since I will be blood-related to this child, I feel it
necessary to give the matter the consideration it deserves,
and yet I sincerely hope that this does not encourage you to
continue writing to me on such a frequent basis. The one
exception that I will allow is to be notified of any further news on
the progress of your condition, your sister's similar
condition, any renovations to Pemberley that you plan,
or any definite intentions of yours on the re-introduction of the
activities that I made reference to above.
I hereby authorize you to use my beloved sister's name as the name
of your first female child. Your decision to use one of your
mother's Christian names, namely "Barbara," as another
of your daughter's given names happens to be quite
fortuitous, since as it turns out I share that name with
her. I feel it necessary to point this out for no other
reason than my fondness for unexpected coincidences.
You see, I was actually christened Barbara Catherine. However,
when I was a young girl, a neighbourhood acquaintance of mine named
Catherine Hughes, of whom I was very fond, died of the pox at the
age of thirteen. I thereupon decided to honSMUDGE her memory by
calling myself Catherine for the remainder of my life.
I would therefore be honoured if you would call your daughter Anne
Barbara.
I am sorry for rambling on like this, Mrs.
Darcy. As you know, this is highly uncharacteristic of
me as I place great value on concision in all human
intercourse. Fortunately, I have managed to keep this
note quite brief as I really had very little to say to you. I
will make every effort to let you know by September if Anne and I
will be able to visit Pemberley after your blessed event has taken
place in November.
Regards,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
from Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Rosings Park, Kent
June 1, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
Your invitation to tour the grounds of Pemberley is appreciated but
probably misplaced, as I am quite familiar with the park
already, having toured it myself many years ago when my beloved
sister Anne was the mistress.
I am also familiar with the three oak trees to which you refer,
presuming they are the ones that stand in the glade a half-mile to the
north. I have made that pleasant journey many times in the
past, both before and after my marriage to Sir Lewis de
Bourgh.
I expect that if I were to make a trip to Pemberley I would be able to
show you many routes and avenues that even your own
husband is unaware of.
Sincerely,
Lady
Catherine de Bourgh
from Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Rosings Park, Kent
June 7, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
The details that you request of my past life at Pemberley are really no
one's business but my own, being memories held only by me and by
my late husband. I'm sure they are of no interest to someone
of your modern generation.
But since Georgiana is a blood relative, she may wish to know
some of my past history, perhaps to record it in an annotated
family tree or to mount it on plaques under our portraits in the West
Hall. Perhaps some day she will take up an interest in
genealogy, as do many people in middle age. I therefore
authorize you to inform her of the contents of this letter.
I first had the pleasure of visiting Pemberley many years ago just after
my sister Anne was married to William Darcy. It was under an oak
tree, the middle of those three near Sparrow Lake to the
north, that I first met Lewis de Bourgh, a friend of
William Darcy's. I had been on a long solitary walk and had hurt
my ankle and was resting there when he happened by and introduced
himself. We spoke for several minutes and then he helped me back
to the main house.
It was on the same spot one yeSMUDGE later that he asked
for my hand in marriage and carved our names into the trunk of the
middle tree.
And several years after that, I brought him back to the same location
and told him that I was to give him a child, Anne. I count that
day as one of the happiest of my entire life.
I'm sorry to have bored you once again with my ramblings,
Mrs. Darcy, but I'm sure you understand that I am only
interested in providing useful information for Georgiana in case her
fancy takes a genealogical turn some day.
Sincerely,
Lady
Catherine de Bourgh
from Lady Catherine de
Bourgh
Rosings Park, Kent
June 10, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
It turns out that it may be possible after all for Anne and me to visit
Pemberley for a fortnight in July. I do not yet know the precise
date of our arrival, but I will inform you of such when it becomes known
to me.
I will happily give my advice on the raising of children, Mrs.
Darcy, as you suggest. However, it has recently come to my
attention that some of my counsel is not as well received as I had
thought. I have caught Mrs. Collins several times going
against my wishes, but she insisted that she had no choice but to
weigh my own advice against contrary guidance from other sources.
I suppose that everyone needs to have a method of reconciling
conflicting recommendations from time to time.
And of course Darcy didn't take my advice on his selection of a wife,
but I trust he is happy with his choice.
In any case, I expect that your mother, who has raised many more daughters
than I have, will also have much advice to offer. I would not wish to
be in her way when the baby is born.
Sincerely,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
from Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Rosings Park, Kent
June 20, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
Our plan is to arrive at Pemberley on July 8.
My driver insists that the journey from London to Derbyshire can be
accomplished in one day, but I am somewhat skeptical. I
say we should be lucky to get as far as Northhamptonshire in a single
day.
We may therefore not arrive at Pemberley until July 9.
Sincerely,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Express from Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
July 7, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
I must apologize, but I don't expect that Anne and I will be able
to reach Pemberley by tomorrow because of a variety of circumstances
that have conspired against our progress. I feel a full explanation is
in order.
Anne and I reached Bourgh House in London and planned on leaving the
next day. I didn't expect to get even half the distance to
Derbyshire in a single day and so planned on a stop at Bedford.
But night fell sooner than expected and we found ourselves somehow in
Meryton of all places.
I found out later that this was Anne's doing. She had bribed the
coach driver to take us through Hertfordshire by a somewhat circuitous
route.
In any case, the Towne Inn in Meryton was full up, and so
now Anne suggested that we search out Longbourn. I was extremely
vexed by this time but felt that there was not much choice but to trust
my daughter's navigatory instincts. We managed to find Longbourn
about an hour later.
Your parents were surprisingly gracious, considering the abrupt
nature of my visit last year and the even more abrupt nature of our
present visit. Anne and I were exeedingly tired after our
journey, and your parents were very kind in offering us a warm
meal and lodgings for the night.
In the morning at breakfast, your mother and I had a forthright
discussion on the difficulties involved in raising daughters without the
benefit of having sons. Since most of her daughters are married
and my own is not, she felt it incumbent upon herself to give
me all manner of advice regarding the acquisition of a
husband. I found this quite vexing and so went to find Anne to
take a stroll through the grounds while our carriage was being prepared.
However, Anne was speaking closely with your sister Catherine and
I found them to be completely inseparable. Considering their
difference in age and your sister's fascination with red coats, I
was somewhat alarmed at this relationship but was unable to dissuade
Anne from continuing it.
Later that morning your mother insisted on taking me on a tour of the
grounds. Your father's estate is rather small, but it does
boast several fine groves of elm trees. In fact, one of
those trees reminded me very much of an elm tree at Rosings under which
my late husband Lewis and I once SMUDGE, but that is
really of no consequence.
In any case, your mother and I had a long reminisce about our
younger days, about the older styles of courtship, about
the old balls and gowns of the period, and about the manner in which the
art of gallantry has lost much of its chivalry in the modern approach.
I must say that I find your mother to be a most interesting
woman. She was able to persuade me to stay at Longbourn for one
more night.
Unaccountably, your father seems to pay little attention to
Harriet, and seems to spend most of the time complaining of his
nerves.
I write on the morning before the second of our two nights as we prepare
to recommence our journey to Pemberley tomorrow. I am sorry for
the length of this letter, but I wanted you to know the full
rationale for our tardiness and the new date of our arrival.
Sincerely,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Express from Lady Catherine de
Bourgh
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
July 8, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
I must apologize for our inexcusable delay in reaching Pemberley,
but once again I have to inform you that Anne and I will have to put off
our arrival for one more day.
This day was spent primarily on a call to Lucas Lodge and a visit to
your sister at Netherfield.
Anne insisted that common courtesy demanded a call to Mrs. Collins'
parents, and so we spent a tedious morning hour visiting with
them.
Sir William is second only to Mr. Collins in his ability to
grovel. I must say that in the comfort of my own parlour at
Rosings I rather enjoy the sycophancy of Mr. Collins, but in an
unfamiliar environment such as Lucas Lodge I find the bootlicking of its
owner to be quite annoying.
I received a rather cold reception from Miss Maria, who I had
thought might at least enquire about Rosings, whose dining room
and many other comforts she had the pleasure of enjoying last
year. Instead she seemed somewhat intimidated by me for some
unaccountable reason.
When I was finally able to drag my daughter and your sister Catherine
away from Miss Maria, we continued on to Netherfield,
where we spent a delightful several hours talking and touring the
grounds.
I must say that your sister is an exceedingly attractive young
woman, and her husband somehow has the exact same pair of eyes as
did my late husband Lewis, and a similar general manner.
They would not let us exit Netherfield until we promised to dine with
them the following day, as this particular day was their cook's
night off. I must say I see no reason to give extra time off to
the help, and I believe that your sister and her husband are
overly generous. Nonetheless I had to agree to dinner on the
morrow and therefore a third night at Longbourn.
We were accompanied on these journeys by your sister Mary, whom I
find to be a most agreeable and accomplished young lady. For some
reason your mother dismisses her as being bookish and prim, but I
find her to be attentive and polite and a great proficient on the
pianoforte.
With apologies,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Express from
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
July 9, 1813
Dear Mrs. Darcy,
I must apologize once again for a completely unexpected change in plans.
At dinner with your sister and Mr. Bingley at Netherfield, it
became clear that Anne would not be separated from your sister
Catherine, and insisted that the latter must accompany us to
Pemberley. I could see no reason for bringing Catherine without
also bringing Mary. And then since your father didn't seem to
relish the idea of being left alone at Longbourn with only your mother
to amuse him, and vice versa, well, the long and
the short of it is that we are all now on our way to Pemberley
for a summer visit.
Your elder sister and her husband are staying behind as she is quite
heavy with child.
I dare say, Lizzy (if I may be allowed to call you by that
name), with both your mother and myself to help with your child
in November, you will have your hands full.
Arriving soon,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh
If you liked this story, please let Ed know by sending him a little comment: